thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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