Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
