i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
