Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
