Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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