Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
