North Korea, Best Korea!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
