wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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