fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
