please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
