Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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