yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
