Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
