You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
