Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
