just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
