I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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