Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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