Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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