What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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