You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
