ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
