Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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