Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
