woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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