I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
