If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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