She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
