She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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