It's Friday. Sex?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
