that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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