the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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