Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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