haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
