She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
