there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it's like iHOP with fire
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My penis needs a shock collar
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
