What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
