if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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