the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
