It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
