the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
