last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
