I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
