Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
