She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
