would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
