I want to make a zoo with you.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
