I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
