so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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