I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
