We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
