just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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